Rats’ Night Out — Chapter III

You filthy things forgot rule number 1 : Never mess with the chefs. Prepare to meet your creator.

(In case you haven’t read Chapter I and Chapter II , follow the links to read them)

The entry plan went well, without glitch. We got in through the toilet, and the place was so very clean. We even drank water from a big, white, hollow bowl that the headrat told us contained water of immortality. Then we proceeded to the kitchen and hid in a crate as planned. Minutes later, we heard the president open the ground for festivities and the chefs all filed out with food trays in hand. This was our cue. This was our chance. We saw it and took it.

Everyone jumped out from their hiding places and started feeding. It was a beautiful sight. It was like we were colonising that part. According to recent news, the chefs were due back at 20 minutes intervals. We were happily chewing away at everything in sight. Only five minutes into eating, a guest came into the kitchen, obviously to get salt. We were alarmed, so was he. We looked at each other for about one minute before he screamed.. “Rats!!!”

Choi! This bald-headed sapiens don catch us shar!!!

That brought us back to our senses. Everyrat started running. The mistake we made was, our master strategist didn’t include an ‘escape-in-time-of-emergency’ plan in his plans (I knew it! He’s incompetent). In no time, the chefs came back into the kitchen, very angry.

We were scared when they all grabbed weapons and started after us. We ran for the bathroom where we came through again and started running towards home. We were halfway there when we noticed blood trail. It was coming from the headrat — he got hit. Immediately, the macho rats lifted him and we all got home, dejected. Our doctor was not around and so I begged them to let me treat him. Actually, I just wanted revenge for him eating my grandfather.

I got a syringe and a solution (I prepared the solution myself. It contains that ‘ota pia pia’ thing) and injected him over and over again. He started to shake vigorously and violently, so much that we thought he was doing the etighi dance, only for him to lay limp and dead. The headrat was dead!

Everyone started to mourn and cry, mostly because they saw food earlier and didn’t get to eat it, and partly because of the death of their dictator. I seized the opportunity and addressed them.
“Vermins of the earth, scavengers of the home, destroyer of properties, commensalists of the century, I hail all of una. As we all know, the papa wey we all get don sleep forever. This na bad thing, true true, beht we can make it good! Me, as a person, don ready to lead all of una through thick and thin, so make you no mourn the rat anymore”
This calmed them all down. I had taken advantage of the situation to make myself the new headrat, and there were no arguments. That was sooo cool. (Now I can get revenge on Ratata, marry Shawty and live like a king). I didn’t stop there.

“And as part of my love for all of una wey no get anything to chop, I don decide say make we prepare suya from our former papa over here”
Hoots, screams, hails and praises rented the air. The hungry souls welcomed the idea of a rat-suya, even if it was their former king. In no time, three hefty Hausa rats had pounced on the body of the former headrat and started slaughtering to make barbecue. This was the best night of my life.

As I sat on the throne, looking at the congregation before me in the cave, waiting for the suya, I slipped in my ear-piece and played my newest album collection (Baddest Guy Ever Liveth). Might I add, I noticed Shawty eyeing me seductively from a corner. :S

Thanks for staying tuned. Now, I leave the dashboard. Tell Larry I said hi. Bye for now!
(Note : Check out the gallery below. Don’t forget to comment and share)

{Photo Credits — Google}

RIP Headrat! We love you, but the Rat-Lord loves you more. We shall miss your divine Skelewu steps..

Thats me! I’m handsome abi? You dont need to tell me. I know it..

Me and my Official Staff! *Olamide’s Voice* Emi ni Boss, Emi ni Badoo..

Credits:
Special thanks to each and everyone who made my first blogging year a huge success.
Thanks to @moneylabi for inspiring the writing dream,
Thanks to @iam_siimie, @iam_funmi and @_luvly_damsel for always being here,
I also appreciate a blog bro @st_anjie who blogs real sense at Teraminds
I also in no small measure appreciate the rat that wrote these successful series,
And above all, I appreciate the Almighty God for the blog’s success.
I look forward to a new blog year with friends like you in it again. Thanks for being with me till the last post of the year. Bless you all

Personally, I remain @howolarbi_ .
Merry Christmas in advance
Happy New Year in advance