The title may surprise you, yeah, I don’t write about stuffs like this, but just yesterday, I got suspended on twitter. It came as a surprise to me, big surprise, azzin, biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig surprise (you get it already na). They told me that I’ve been mentioning people too much, and my account therefore qualifies as spam. I was like, “Eewo! I thought this place was a social network na. So I not fit follow people talk too much. Abeg, twitter na gossip jare”
First things first, I did what anyone would have thought. I calmed down, took in a deep breath, and screeeeeeaaaaaammmmmmeeeeedddd!!!. Yeah, that’s the extent of it. How will they be so heartless to have done such a thing to me? After the scream, truth being said, I felt better a little. Since I was a first offender, they didn’t ask me to fill a form. They just made me mark some options that I wouldn’t be caught wanting again. As a typical Naija boy now, even though I’ll still gossip, I marked it so we can move on with life (Naija no dey carry last na! How many likes for Naija :D)
In like ten seconds (that was the amount of time it took my opera mini browser to load the page after clicking ‘submit’.. 3G things na), they lifted the ‘suspension’ message off my account, and replaced it with.. “Your TL is empty as you’re currently following nobody. Here are some people you might follow”.
My heart melted first. I checked to see if I hadn’t logged into someone else’s account by reloading. Then I click on the human-like icon (#account), and waited what seemed like the longest 17 seconds of my life. What I saw shocked me —-»
8407 Tweets, 0 Following, 0 Followers.
At this, I knew that I had to take a stronger stand. I sucked in a much more deeper breath, and let out a yell so loud, they thought a plane crashed.
I went into mental frenzy kiakia, and started zapping the web for possible solutions. One asked me to write a letter at support.twitter.com, which I did (watch out for the letter, coming soon), and another assured me that it would soon be re-upped. I waited for two hours, painstakingly checking and seeing no improvements. I was so angry, I plugged in my PlayStation 2 console, loaded a PES ’13 software, set the difficulty to ‘Top Player’, chose Barcelona as opponent and in the course of 10 minutes, I had flogged them 23-2 (Might I add, Messi scored their 2 goals before I started scoring).
I was just about to choose Inter Milan as opponents and make sure they suffer worse fate when my phone blinked its red LED light, and I got a mail from twitter, saying it had been resolved. Lo and behold, it had been. My account was back to normal. I love you, twitter. 😀