Rats’ Night Out — Chapter II

Oya! We don ready. What is the plan?

I know you must have been waiting for the rest of the story, well, here I am, still at my secret location, frustrating Larry who can’t seem to get a hold on his site anymore. Well, let me continue from where I left off. For those of you who haven’t read Chapter I, you can read it here

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Everyone went to their various houses, cleaned up, changed their set of teeth and came back to the meeting area (I lifted some weight myself *wink*. Did I hear the ladies say ‘oooh’). Anyways, when we got back, the headrat summoned us all once again and silence fell upon us.
“Welcome, does and gentlerats, welcome. Today will be a great day in all our lives. The human race has tried all their possible best to eradicate us, but all to no avail. Their fore-fathers used ‘panpe’, catapults and even guns to stop us, but still, we didn’t die. The ‘War Against Ekute’ group also came up, making ‘soole’ and ‘gbeku’, yet we didn’t budge. Tonight, we conquer them. Tonight, we give them a taste of their own bitter medicine. Tonight, we eat all they’ve prepared. Never fear, vermins, vicccctory, is ours!!”

The whole rat population gave shouts of joy at this sweet-mouthed motivation. We were very happy. The last time we were this happy was when Nigeria nearly won a match like that, before Yakubu missed the goal (Did I mention that we ate his jersey in revenge?) and when Skelewu was released (although we do not know what the song is about). We were all very ecstatic about the feeding session of that night. The stores had also been made ready for extra food.
“That’s enough”, the headrat said heartily, after some minutes of joy, “let the master strategist give us our modus operandi”

In case I forgot to mention, we also have professionals among the rats. The master strategist for all operations we go for is Mr. Ratata (you know that name that R2Bees always call now). The rat mounted the podium with a big map in hand, spectacle resting on his scrawny little pink yellow nose, his stupid shaky legs holding the floor and his devil eyes set upon us all (don’t mind the description. He cheated me to get the job). He laid the big map in his hand on the wall for all to see, and began explanations.

“Right here, here and here are the main entrances to the suite, but only here and here have direct links to the kitchen. Observers (by observers, he means Linda Ikeji’s Blog) have said that the chefs perform routine walks to this entrance, and so have reason to believe its the toilet area. From that point, we proceed to a giant cabbage crate. There, we lay in wait for the chefs to all go out and serve”

Everyone hailed Ratata’s plan, everyone except me(I’m still angry at the dude. I could crush his balls). Shawty, a female, sexy and hot rat, raised a question after the noise died down. “Mr. Ratatzy (she seduces everyone with a nickname. That she-devil!), any downside to this plan?”. Ratata melted at this and I noticed some activity in the shameless thing’s groins as he replied,”I’m afraid the answer is yes. I must warn you, that the new Skelewu song and the shameless songs by Tonto Dike will be highly hazardours to our healths. You all remember the ‘Alanta Fever Season’ when our brothers took it too far by setting themselves on fire. We might be looking at another Skelewu Fever. So be careful, when you hear the song, block out your ears. And might I add, the First Lady is capable of spewing bombs from her mouth, grammar-wise. Do not stay near her when she’s about to speak”. At this, even I was envious of the job well done by this strategist.

He left the podium amidst claps and the headrat once again mounted to give us the closing prayer, so that we might begin the attack.
“O ye gods of the vermins! We, thine be-teethed servants have come before ye once again, give us the stomach to hold the food of the sapiens, give our teeth the extra power to chew the food, give our legs the same power ye gave Guy Dangerous to escape any predators, and bring us back here into our cave from where we can always come to listen and groove to the song thine son, David O, just released. Let the attack begin”. At this, we all hooted and ran out of the cave, headed under the grassess and cover of darkness to the Intercontinental Suites.

Just tell me, what do you think would happen next? Gotta go, I think Larry’s coming. Stay connected for Chapter III. Don’t forget to comment.